The ratio between the number of male and female users on matrimonial sites is unsurprisingly skewed. Women are often hesitant to make moves on matrimonial sites, even though they would like to. The BiheNepal team, having created Nepal’s most popular matrimonial app, shared that they receive scores of phone calls from women struggling against family pressures and expressing their interest in finding a life partner on their own. So, what holds them back?
Women are expected to be ever demure and docile, and being open about their wants clashes with the image that society has placed on them. After all, “what will people say?” Women are negatively judged for their actions, and their reputation and character are scrutinized in a way that men are not subject to. So, it is no wonder that they shy away from being forward.
If a man is open about his want for a relationship, he is “bold” or maybe even “romantic”. If a woman dares to be open about her want for a relationship, she “has no shame”. This stigma increases exponentially in the case of widows and divorced singles.
We need to stop criticizing women for being human.
Moving past this obstacle can only be achieved when society as a whole recognizes the problem and makes conscious efforts to counter it. To question whether this treatment of people is actually right, and to recognize it as a means of oppression.
As sisters and Nepali women co-founders of BiheNepal, Shraddha and Shreya Katuwal care deeply about making women feel safe and understood on their platform, and encouraging them to take matters into their own hands. “In a country still known for countless forced marriages, we especially hope to empower young girls and women to have a say in their life decisions.”
In order to do so, all user’s first names are hidden and their contact information always strictly private. The chatting feature is only available after accepting a user’s match request, meaning no unsolicited messages from anyone. Having a verified profile with a green check mark means the user has completed 100% of their profile information and has uploaded at least two photos. This indicates a more reliable profile. A face-scanner-based photo verification system has been recently released, ensuring that authentic photos of the individual are uploaded.
The BiheNepal team are always working on new features and security measures that will be rolled out periodically. They sincerely hope to make their users, especially women, feel heartened to express themselves and make their decisions with confidence.
That being said, there are measures that can be taken by users to ensure their own safety as well. Only giving out personal contact information after having established that the other person is trustworthy. Meeting a stranger for the first time can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. It is always better to meet in safe, public places. Spend some time chatting with and getting to know the person online before exchanging information or setting up a meeting.
Remember, you are never obligated to disclose any information or meet anyone if you do not feel comfortable in doing so.
These are small moves towards micro-education of the masses in order to push the change that is so desperately needed in our society.
